Welcome to SOAFP.
It’s not exactly a common occurrence but if you’ve ever been sucked off while asleep at a family party, you’re in the right place at suckedoffatfamilyparty.org. We’re a .org organisation, the .com is taken but has some examples of this rare phenomenon. There’s not many occasions where getting your dick smoked off its hinges is not your fault but this is one of them and we’re here to help no matter who did it, aunt, uncle, cousin. Ask anyone from Alabama, it’s not something to be ashamed of.
Top Tips
1) Don’t go to family events when “that” cousin is there.
2) Don’t sleep on trains.
3) Always have some Voltarol handy if you’re 40.
Quotes To Think About
“You get the benefit of the doubt once but this can never happen again.” -
Adam Rowe, Comedian.
“How can you ever possibly be in the wrong if someone’s sucking you off in your sleep?”
- Sensei Carl, A Very Wise Man.
“Is it cheating if you’re not hard?”
- Dan Nightingale, Comedian.
“…”
- Finn, Doesn’t have a mic.
“You can’t suck a limp dick off”
- Sensei Carl, Being Wise Again.
Please click below to learn more.
This is a website created because of a Have A Word Podcast Patreon Exclusive. If any of the issues raised in the episode or on this page have affected you please click the button below for information about how to get help from the NHS.